Monday, February 07, 2005;01:55
Y
++ Have you ever feel this way ?!? ++
Situation 1
It's a great irony of life that while you can be polite with colleagues, salespeople and strangers, but you are often harsh and angry at our loved ones.
It is almost as if you enjoy criticizing and venting our anger on them.
E.g. "You ruinned my life after knowing you" "You are the worst of any girls that i have known"
"Can you just mind your own business,I am not obliged to tell you everything"
What do we achieve by behaving this way?
Nothing, really. In fact, angry tones and harsh criticisms put a damper on the intimacy of close relationships.
We are robbing ourselves of the opportunity to feel close and be close to our loved ones.
Even if, in the event of a disagreement, you are right, do you really need to push your point across so violently? You're just making people distance themselves from you, because it becomes hard to talk to you.
It makes the person scared to open up to you as well...for fear to anger you in any forms.
Situation 2
When your loved ones wrong you or make a mistake, what's done is done. Which is better, being polite, extending forgiveness and then working together to solve the problem, or, venting your anger and frustration and making your loved ones feel worse than they already do?
When you make harsh criticisms or remarks of your loved ones, you are hurting them deeply, much more than you can imagine.
Even if you didn't mean it. Just put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel?
Be thankful when they have extended to forgive your wrongs.
Treasure your loved ones. At the end of the day, they're all you've got.
When something goes wrong, it is natural human instinct to put the blame on something, or on someone else. They always think they are right, never in the wrong.
Most people are eager to rid themselves of responsibility. But if you think about, it really doesn't serve much positive purpose.
Playing the blame game merely creates tension and hampers the recovery process.
When you blame others, not only are you causing them unhappiness, you are subconsciously making yourself unhappy too.
A person who is truly at peace with himself will not have the need to attach blame on others.
What's done is done. The time and energy spent finding fault are much better used on finding solutions and answers.
Situation 3
I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…
“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment
grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…”
He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all.
He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days…
=======================================
Summarize :-
We really have to learn to let go of events. What has passed is past. Learn from it.
Grow from the experience. But move on. Look ahead.
If I fail to do so, the past becomes a burden to me.
It is difficult to walk, let alone run, jump and dance, when you are carrying a big and heavy bundle on my shoulders.
I have to accept that whatever happened has happened. There is no way I can change the past.
Have a BIG heart bahz..^_^ Yes.It is indeed very tough...but maybe life will be much better or improved from there...
Unable to forgive & forget the bad events will only hinder the progress of my life.
Remindin' myself that whatever happened, probably did for a reason. And remember that there is always some good to come out of everything, if I bother to look for it or realize it.
Emotional burdens not only slow down and restrict, but they give rise to a whole lot of negative emotions - anger, bitterness, regret, hatred, frustration which used to be in me but i have been tryin' to let them go.
How many times have you feared something - a change in your life, a person, a new environment, a possible illness, a new job - but the thing which triggered the fear never materialized at all?
Sometimes, the events did unfold, but the fearful factor never turned out anywhere as bad as you had imagined?
That's the problem with fear - it cripples us and our ability to live the present moment and handle the coming ones.
Some fear is good - it can drive us to improve, to appreciate people and what we have. But excessive fear isn't.
A person overwhelmed with fear can't be a happy person.
Face all fears, and conquer them. Convince yourself that, the majority of the time, your fears remain just that - your fears. They never actually do take place
Happiness is more in our own hands than we realize.
Happiness is as much a decision as it is an emotion.
You can decide to be happy! It's in your hands!
Sherr|ne 
* @ |01:55|
