Sunday, March 26, 2006;21:30
Y
++ Week 12 ++
Whole week still as usual.
After my 2 colleagues went on maternity leave.i became so busy from 9am till knock off time..haiz a bit buay tahan liaoz..
More and more detestful against my manager..damn! Si mi shit also ask me do..esp. those need to THINK one. i manager or she manager arh ? arghz..
Her way of taking charge of the doc dept almost damn messy.. luan luan lai one..
I hack care more oso...
Everyday after work, always headed straight for home to pei mummy..except this Wed & Fri..
What i got for miself on Wednesday
Went Raffles Link on Wed with the 3 charbors for a short while as Sue Ann & Val wanna get an somehow orange-like tshirt from Giordano.. haha i still dun find that colour nice lorrz hahaha..*zipped* =x ..wait tio pak haha
^A pair of heels and 2 Giodano mini polo tees^
Friday after work went Bugis with Val & Sue Ann for some shopping.
It has been more than a month that i have really went out kia kia le...
I wont be working this Sat.. but the 2 are lolx...
Sue Ann will be going Melbourne next week to visit her sister.. will b on a week leave sia..
Si bei good life (-_-)".
I wanna go on leave but i CAN'T...
1st, we were all so hungry, Sue Ann & me got chicken pie from Polar to eat ..Val had curry puff from Old Chang Kee...
Then i treated them to drink and shared the Mango Tango..
Kaoz after i drank it, mega sudden on n off tummy pain. Sue Ann felt weird also..dunno hers was gastric or tummy pain..
Food poisoning sia hahahaha...And we blamed Val for it coz she suggested to drink that lolx
^We @ the Toys Department^ - So many cutie toys
Din get any clothings from Bugis.. ..sobz i wanna get some new clothings... So sianz wearing those old clothings at home le.. but cant find anything nice to buy..
In the end, i bought a fruit peeler and knife sharpener for home hahaha.. am i more like housewife liaoz ??? hahahaa
After then about 9+pm, we all decided to head for home.
I havent had my dinner, only had 1 chicken pie but find no companion, so i went home to eat my cup noodle .. so pititful heehee..
^See how the way she sit...^
Satuday, got up about 1130am... then dad bought brunch for mum & me.
Then around 2pm, i went Jurong Point alone to make some grocery and the necessities for the weekend's dinner..Now weekendz have to cook lunch and dinner.
Bought 2 packs of HL Milk, some veges, plain flour , eggs etc.. too heavy le.. regretted not letting dad to follow me.. My hands almost break !!!!
^All carried by miself^
Mum easily sick of dishes she eaten times to times, so we always have to think of new dishes for her, if not she will feel so pekcek being a sick person. This cannot eat, that cannot eat.. We think till dunno how many brain cells si qiao qiao liaoz..
At 4+ onwards, relatives all came to visit mum.. while i prepared the dinner.
Granny came too, and helped me with the cooking as well.
I made herbal black chicken soup, fried battered fish and Chye Sim for her..
I had dinner with her while dad went to have dinner with the rest of the relatives.
Mum finished up all the rice and dishes.. phewz...
Today early morning dad n mum argued over pears and sis & me got waken up kaoz..
So seemed kanna woke up le, i washed up and prepared the ingredients for the dinner with mum. Washed the pig's stomach, washed the fish, sliced the carrot, cutted the cabbage, tomatoes & pork.
She taught me how to make pig's stomach soup, fried sliced pork and sweet sour fish.
She used mouth - I used my hands...
Whole family had pig's stomach soup, sweet sour fish, Cabbage & carrot and sesame oil pork for dinner...
Haha i think as time passed, i can really cook well le hahahahaha..
Anyone game to try out my cooking ???
Mum will be having her 2nd treatment on Tuesday, hope wont be too suffering for her..praying hard...
Stupid manager demanded me to send a report tmr morning.. and i need to THINK some factors and points for that dumb report .... no mood for it....damn! damn ! damn !
Before i end,
CONGRATS to Ben Nan Ren ! Finaly graduated liaoz haha.. CONGRATS to Dolly also hee hee...
Sherr|ne 
* @ |21:30|
Sunday, March 19, 2006;22:08
Y
++ Tired Body & Mind ++
Nowadays always gota take care of mum and household chores till i m so tired...Hands ache, bodyache...simply everywhere oso ache
Every weekends also need to go supermart with sis to get some groceries.
Woke up at 9am today..then started to 'take care' ... din rest at all.
Mum is getting so sick with those bland meals that she is kinda getting so easily irritated and frustrated these 2 days.
I have to keep thinking other types of meals to cook for her...
Most headache thing is my mum is so fussy with food.
Most things she dun take de, this dun eat..that dun eat.. she only eat certain veges and fish..meat cant eat too much, dad said chicken got chicken flu...salt cannot too much, sugar cannot..
Aiyoooooo dunno how to cook for her and yet she is getting so pekcek with daily meals now.
She pekcek till flared up said wanna find a caterer to cook for her..
Today afternoon made macaroni for her..but was a failure as i couldnt add much things into the soup..so it tasted so bland and macroni was too hard that she couldnt take it. So she asked dad to make plain porridge for her.
Dinner time, i cooked something different.. fried fish with tomato sauce..and plain fried shitake mushrooms
She said felt so much better smelling something different.
She finished all..^_^
However, everyone is so headache, dunno what to cook for her and my dad was only taught to cook 2-3 dishes from mum..
Mum will get nauseous if she smell those dishes again...
I must go search for other alternative ways le *super headache*
She also cant wait for me to get home to cook after work.. she gets so hungry easily now.
These few days she is oso getting insomnia..always couldn't get to sleep even she has taken the sleeping pill... This affected her mood too..
Forced herself to sleep but cant.. haiz really dunno how to help her..
I m thinking to find some hobbies or things for her to keep her occupied..
She is not allowed to go out, always at home, cant do anything oso can brood too much de..
Recently getting more and more phobic going to work.
Cant deny having the tots to resign sia.. get miself out of their hella place!
But haiz.. where got so easy? ai resign jiu resign meh ?
Couldnt go out enjoy as well.
Must get home to check on and take care of mum after work.
Scared dad couldnt cope alone as well.
Wanna go out, also have to wait till wee hours liaoz lorz..
Hope after 6 months later, everything will be back to normal...
Mum also felt so upset on the tot of her illness, she has made whole family suffer with her..
Crazy her! whatever happen..whole family sure will always by her side and support her what!
Sherr|ne
* @ |22:08|
Wednesday, March 15, 2006;22:46
Y
++ -Super Exhausted- ++
Feeling super super exhausted.. totally worn out now.These few night somehow have problem sleeping... always need to toss and turn for some time...I am so worried for my mum..
My mind just refused to rest, yet body cant take it le
Everyday now have to OT at work.
Today simply no time to rest at all..the works just kept coming..
Had the management meeting in the morning then i skipped lunch, wrong move..
Gastric pain visited me...
And from then i just kept on rushing all the piles of work like a robot working non-stop there till i knocked off..
After OT, met up wif my sis at TP mrt to go home together..
Went to buy some cookbooks that is suitable for mum.. need to make some nourishing soups & healthy food for her...
Luckily gastric pain subsided after i hv taken my dinner.
Then dad has prepared herbal black chicken soup for us..felt so much better...
Just helped mum to wash her hair and then did my own laundry washing.. now my hands and body going to break anytime...tireddddddd and cramppp to the extreme le...
Mum is asleep now....and i need to study the cookbooks and do some research for the menus liaoz...
Tired...Tired...Tired...Tired.........................
Sherr|ne
* @ |22:46|
Tuesday, March 14, 2006;21:50
Y
++ -Totally Stressed Out- ++
Feeling so tired and depressed.Work getting so busy after the 2 colleagues went on maternity leave.
I simply dun have a time to take a break...
Rushed the survey from customers, presentation for ISO , then the daily doc duties, email problem resolutions..
& its time to start doing the schedule .. All these driving me crazy !!!
Tried to start doing the schedule as early as i can so i wont get to wear out but i just cant do it... So many invoices and costings to approve..
I cant afford to make mistakes on that, so i gota check the invoicing thoroughly plus i am still fresh to the task.
Then came an additional stupid time-consuming report to be done daily required by the director..feel like fucking him up n down...
Everyday i need to stay back for at least an hour+ to get it done when i everyday wanted to rush back home to 'check on' & take care of my mum..
Hate dat bloody report !!
Things aint the same anymore, I have my "Qian Gua" now.
Everyday my concern is to get home as fast as i can.
Sometimes people just wont understand the worries and fear inside you when things never happen to them...
Today mum started her 1st hateful treatment, we are all so worried...so i wanna get home as soon as i can...i cried out but realised no1 is willing to give you a little of helping hand to get the work done in the soonest time... the most
2 person or more to do the task sure finish up more faster......
But all i got in return is disappointing reply " It is YOUR job leh, dat time i was juz helping you to do it" - When i heard it, i was totally taken aback.. how much it sounded from Zu's mouth...
Rephrase in a line -
I juz need a fast help in one ETA coz i only left 2 and i can leave together but all left without saying a word of concern..
What i feel is you willingly help them hopping around reading all the emails,doing their connecting for them, cant even help me a single ETA?
Coz they are so much closer ????
Did i say to help ALL while i am halfway thru ??
Must ans in that way ? my job ur job ? It is never my job..or even urs
Did i always seek out for help ???? I dun rem so...
I never try to trouble you with my work
I have expected to stay back when i know i have to take over the docs side but who know my mum got sick...
With my mum like dat.. all i asked is a little bit of understanding.. at least for the tis month..
If they need ur assistance, i bet u will help...
There is ntg to do with independence here.
Not angry with others ??
I m utterly aware of their fiaked up attitude..Wendy asked MJ to inform shipper a BL-related mattter, she complained to me let her do something she never do before which is just informing.
Wendy asked Zu to inform another BL issue, she came telling me now she gota do BL stuff...
Tell me is there a need to be angry over such pple ??? I dun even feel like asking them for help...! They would reply me WHAT u have replied me
just like "ur english better what, so u do lor"
It is MY job ??? Was Docs side my job ? Was ISO my job ? The whole dept's reports MY job ??
Pls define my job scope...
How i wish i can bochup and take a few days' leave to take care of my mum...
If i really bochup and goes on leave, WHOSE job will it be ?!!?
It wont be Wendy, wont be Zu , wont be May, won't be the so-called juniors ???
Those boliaoz tasks will then passed to WHO ?!??
Ans is very obvious...
Whatever it is, try to do as much as i can.. do as fast as i can...
Dun wanna think so much anymore or bother too much....
I juz wish my mum to get back into good health soon...
I m trying to be responsible to my work but juz feeling so pissed off from doing it now!
Hoping to be able to access email from home and work from home.. maybe i really run down on luck, no 1 able to assist on my problem...
NO1 JUST UNDERSTAND !!!!!
I dun want promo...i dun want more bonus....
I will be so willingly to transfer tasks for those who want it...
I never ask for those tasks before..
Now feeling so heartbreaking seeing the suffering of my mum...
Intended to take leave tmr to look after my mum but the damn presentation postponed till Wed that left me with no choice to go office in the day and maybe take half day.
Constantly need to check my mum's temperature now...
If mum's condition worsen tmr morning, i will have to care less.. ...my mum is more impt!
Now she is feeling so unwell and unbearable from the effects of the treatment...
Whole family losing appetite and moodless..
Dad is upset...and I m crying..
Hope the shitty effects go off tmr.
How i wish could replace my life with the pain my mum is suffering now....
Sherr|ne
* @ |21:50|
Saturday, March 11, 2006;00:27
Y
++ ... ++
Havent have the mood to blog much recently...Thought thing has turned on the right track le, but not so...
A lot of things definately have changed around the house...
Everything gota do on our own..
Laundry, wash the dishes, throw rubbish, take care of mum etc...now both hands ache like hell..
Mum will be undergoing the hateful treatment on Tuesday which worries everyone the most now. That dumb treatment going to take for at least 4 months..really scared mum's health will weaken from it..
We know mum is upset over it and worried but she din really show much out to us, she just dun wish us to worry too much for her as well.
I have a strong mum, so i hope she could manage to cope thru it.
Really praying the treatment wont cause too much suffering to mum... if not i will wanna go & slap the doctor..
Just have supper with ben nan ren..he has ponteng his p/t job today, really gone case hor hahaha..
4 days job worked only for 3 days...
He even said he is going to work only for 20 days in a month for once he get his perm job.. (-_-)"
I have worked for almost going to 6 years also hardly take MC or leave.
He hasnt start, already like dat ..pity that company wish going to employ him sia... lolx
But i know it was a joke
Once he like a job, he damn super hardworking one..ask him work for 12 hours or more, he also will do it de...
For me, i am getting more n more stress out day after day !
My 2 colleagues have went on maternity leave le... is my doom day coming ?!?!
Sometimes really wanna perform well but at times got heart no energy esp. with the worries i have at home now.. everyday after work always wish to faster get home and pei my mummy...
Still got a presentation die die MUST finish up by tmr, yet i only have done 30% of it...
No mood to do it... Sianz sianz!!! Stress stress !! helppppp !!
Sherr|ne
* @ |00:27|
Wednesday, March 08, 2006;11:59
Y
++ -Sighz- ++
Actually feeling very very tired...whole body wanna collapse le..But just couldnt get to bed with such heavy heart...
I just cant help feeling so helpless..
I am so worried for my mum now after her checkup today.. haiz..
Stupid doctor just wants my mum to keep on suffering..and there is seemed ntg we can do about it..
Heart heavy, Mind blank....
I deeply hoping my mum in good health and can enjoy her life happily in more years to come.
Haiz..really feeling so helpless..i cant do anythin for mum, only thing i can do is to take good care of miself & family , dun wanna her to worry...
How i wish i can stop her from suffering.....
Work is getting busier day after day... felt so stressed out and am wondering if i will go into depression ....
好想有個能依靠的肩膀﹐ 給我于支持與溫暖。。
*God! Pls bless my mum!!*
Sherr|ne
* @ |11:59|
Sunday, March 05, 2006;15:00
Y
++ ^Some updates of me^ ++
^Taken in the hospital^
Mum finally got discharged on thursday noon...so my sis & i dun need to go hospital after work everyday le..Everything seemed to be quite alright now.. thanks god!
After work on thursday, Val they all going the steamboat buffet at Suntec..my heart wanna go but i cant...need go home pei my mummy. Val needed to help her bro-in-law get a new hp, i still 'hong xing' followed them to the M1 at Change Alley .. haha after then i headed for home while they went to enjoy themselves.
When i got home, my mum still can unpacked all the hampers and did her filing of her bills, medical reports etc...kowtow her sia..
Asked her to rest, she just couldnt stay still.
Whole house was full of flowers, fruits, chicken essences, birdnests and cookies...
I think we could open one grocery store le haha..
^Whole fridge full of FRUITS^
Whole week couldn't go out...Kakis all kept going shopping etc but i just couldnt join them..I need some shopping for clothings, but ... haiz.....it was kinda i will feel guilty or bad if i really dun care and just got out n have fun..at least not for this week.
Now everyone at home is incharge of their own laundry..
Dad will be incharge of mum's meals daily.. unless my sis & i are around, we would cook for mum...Mum now becomes the Empress of the family - order and things will be served lolx..
Haha and now dad, my sis & i need to do household chores liaoz...
Friday, my sis & i took a day's leave.. so we took care of mum, cooked for mum n for ourselves..
mum cant take seafood & meat, cant eat too salty and sweet....so gota cook hers separately..
Her food everyday very bland de... haha.. always the same old meal..same kinda of fish, same variety of soup...basically coz mum only eat certain veges and fish...
Almost do chores the whole day, didnt really get to rest...*faintz*
Luckily dun need to work on Sat.
Yesterday(Sat), need to go to the hospital & pharmacy to buy things for mum... then i headed to the saloon to do hair treatment. Hair was getting dry and since i was off from work, i took the opportunity to get it done.
^Visiting almost everyday^
Some relatives from Malaysia flocked out to Singapore after they knew of my mum's illness.
Then by early noon till night time, my whole house is flooded with people!!!!!Mum n dad day entertaining them the whole day , i helped out with cleaning as and when.. really buay tahan.. Shouldnt they let my mum rest de ????? hahaha ..but then they came all the way here also no choice larz..
Parents said at least they got sim lorz..
^The mini bday celebration^
One of my cousins bought a cake to celebrate for the March's babies..
Mum is one of them...mum's bday on Monday.
Mum is so pitiful, her bday but cant celebrate..She gota guai guai stay home for 20 days..
But my sis & i will still bao an Ang Pow for her as gift.
Supposingly to meet him at 5pm, then changed till 7pm then in the end so pekcek...simply left with no mood.. I was thinking to have a fun nite out - go have nice food and maybe catch big momma 2 de.. in the end wat also cant le..
I was left waiting thinking dunno to have my dinner or not... arghz but then i asked my parents not to get my dinner as i will be going out.. waited n waited.......
Eventually met him at 10pm in Clementi.. had our dinner or shd it be called supper...
After then, we walked around Clementi aimlessly.... then took a train to Raffles aimlessly.. walked past Boat Quay aimlessly... then lastly we took nightbus home (bus spin).
We met 2 weird guys while we were waiting for the bus.....then when we were all on the bus..
I noticed one of the guys have 3 hands on his lap.
I tot i saw wrongly, so i asked him to have a look to reconfirm... but too bad from his angle, he couldnt get to see them..
He told me he would tried to block me while i tried to look clearly...
I turned n looked again... and i confirmed the another guy's hand was on his partner's lap.. Confirmed they are gays le...
One of them was with golden dyed hair and quite plump.. another one not bad looking but with neatly trimmed eyebrows (he was the 'charbor')
Normally, i only saw gays in dark ones... 1st time seen chinese de..so abit excited lar hahaha..
Sianz, still got office work needed to be done today... no mood and urge to do it yet... Sianz sianz ... but MUST do it if not i m going to be so busy the whole week at work le .... HELP !!!
Now, those malaysian relatives with our relatives in Singapore are again at my home...another group from Malaysia is on the way here today... Whole house gonna get flooeded again !!!
Some will leave tomorrow...some will leave on Tues
Sherr|ne
* @ |15:00|
