Saturday, November 19, 2005;23:50
Y
++ - Destinated Encounter ? - ++
After work got home around 3+pm, managed to nap for 2 hours then met someone for dinner.
Dunno considered suay or not upon 'bumping' into someone that i should NEVER 'allow' to bump into..If i never have opt to go there, maybe we have avoided bumping into her...I dunno... aiyah i just know if i never have said to go that way.. maybe have avoided all these...
Was that destinated ??
She saw me... but i din as i wasn't even paying attention to people around me.....
resulted in me to dunno how i should really feel...Scared ? Worried ? Reactionless ?
I only know at that moment i will do anything just to 'save' him...even if needed me to end myself up with some bangladeshiez...or be a golden horse awarded actress...
I dreamt of such encounter before about few mths ago ..but would never feel it might turned in reality...
Even if i hv asked how to handle such encounter.....outcome i guessed will be still the same..as there is no use debating with someone who just always think you shd follow her ways.
Or maybe i should follow my dream and fight with her ?
Should he follow the dream to protect me ?
Well,I only know everything is done will bring more troubles to him..so all i know i can do is just keep all within me... even the outcome is to ask me to get lost on the very moment..
The whole nite i have prepared for the worst...Realised how scary she can be to everyone's life.
I was curious what actually happened during the argument but i decided to keep mum..dun wish to further dampen the mood and i know this encounter will greatly affected him.
Though have been behaving like ntg big deal has happened... but can't hide from me..... i know de...
Though said not going to care anymore of all these.. but i know the fear will always be there......
Cant deny was glad you din really just escaped alone and left me there but i 'd rather u kick me one side at that moment...
Wonderz why i can become the problem when i never even did anything wrong towards her...
This is one thing i can only resigned to life..or is this juz my luck to know such lady ?
I cannot deny i at times really hate her ... her existence really makes mi life so *no words to describle* - thought not as much as his pains ..but my pains oso wont lose out to him -
but one thing i dun understand is there a need to pass remarks abt me or cooked up stories that never happened.. It is just not going to change anything.. Sometimes, i really feel so innocent and yet ntg i can do..
The accusations can really kill me!!
Just got to know everything seemed ok.. but i dunno... i dun wish to ask and probe further..
I will just take the answer as it is for now...
Sherr|ne 
* @ |23:50|
